My wife is okay with the time I spend in the garage, although sometimes I feel guilty that she doesn't have a hobby that she is obsessed with like we are. She loves looking at the layout (I usually name towns after her), but has no desire to work on it. We have no kids yet, and a good marriage otherwise, and we do spend alot of time together. How have you guys handled this?
Time for the wife?
- Thread starter csxengineer
- Start date
I'm Lucky
I must be a lucky one my wife not only helps with the layout she builds some of the structures. She has built a few campbell's kits and now prefers the lazer cut ones. I have had a few visitors try to buy some of the buildings on my layout that she has built so they must be good.
I must be a lucky one my wife not only helps with the layout she builds some of the structures. She has built a few campbell's kits and now prefers the lazer cut ones. I have had a few visitors try to buy some of the buildings on my layout that she has built so they must be good.
You are a wise man, for you are heading off a problem before it becomes one. I did it the other way around. After about the first 15 years of marriage, I figured it out 
My advice would be to include her in your hobbies in any way you can. Put a TV in the train room. Tell her you're lonely out there and want her to keep you company. Hmmmm, might better not tell her you're lonely, just ask her to keep you company. Ask her to hand you the monkey wrench, hold something up, paint something, etc. Until she becomes her own addict to our wonderful hobby
My advice would be to include her in your hobbies in any way you can. Put a TV in the train room. Tell her you're lonely out there and want her to keep you company. Hmmmm, might better not tell her you're lonely, just ask her to keep you company. Ask her to hand you the monkey wrench, hold something up, paint something, etc. Until she becomes her own addict to our wonderful hobby
It's a fine balancing act, between spending time on the trains and on the wife. I find I can usually tell when it's too much.
I also encourage her hobbies every chance I get. If she's busy with some major project, she doesn't even look up to see what I'm doing.
I also encourage her hobbies every chance I get. If she's busy with some major project, she doesn't even look up to see what I'm doing.
I have tried to get my wife involved in the hobby, but she refuses to do so because she thinks railfanning and modeling are "stupid".
I let her think what she wants - even though we all know she is wrong.<g>
She is happy and so am I and we have been married 21 years!
Jeff
I let her think what she wants - even though we all know she is wrong.<g>
She is happy and so am I and we have been married 21 years!
Jeff
My wife is very supportive of my hobby. She doesn't want to get involved, but regularly comes down and asks to see "what's new"
She knows that it is my therapy and as long as I don't spend more time on the layout than on her or the kids, were OK.
She knows that it is my therapy and as long as I don't spend more time on the layout than on her or the kids, were OK.
My wife is interested in the hobby to the point of looking at the layout as well as other home and club layouts. I sacrificed some of the hobby room to put a 180 gal salt water aquarium, a couch infront of that and a t.v.. Recently she went back to get her masters degree so she is busy with that, she takes her lap top computer down into the hobby room when I am down there either working on the layout or at the workbench. I also try to get involved with her in her hobbies also. It is a give and take relationship, she enjoys some of the things I do and I enjoy some of her hobbys as well as some hobbies that we have together. makes the enjoyment of life much better, I think that is what we are all after.. Ron..
Lucky I do not have that problem.You see I am a bachelor.. I would not have it any other way..I do have a girlfriend that is a model railroader..She got her start in the hobby by helping her 2 sons when they where at home and after her sons became adults and took wives of their own she stayed with the hobby.
Paradise found?? No Paradise lost.You see we been going together for 7 years and we really don't have that much in common outside of our passion for the hobby.
Now my late wife would help me in the hobby..Indeed she was my all round helper..
I would not have it any other way..I do have a girlfriend that is a model railroader..She got her start in the hobby by helping her 2 sons when they where at home and after her sons became adults and took wives of their own she stayed with the hobby.Paradise found?? No Paradise lost.You see we been going together for 7 years and we really don't have that much in common outside of our passion for the hobby.
Now my late wife would help me in the hobby..Indeed she was my all round helper..
My wife supports me in just about anything I choose, and I in turn support her in her choices. Let's face it, we only have one go-around at this, and we should do the things we enjoy the most. I think the only motivation for not supporting your spouse is selfishness, and that's a shame if that happens.
She isn't interested in MRR, but knows I am and will spend time in a LHS with me, and sometimes even finds things that she thinks will interst me. She'll come out and look when I've finished something and even gives her opinions if asked.
We spent over 25 years working together, we both need a break now and then. Separate hobbies are just the ticket.
Don
I think the only motivation for not supporting your spouse is selfishness, and that's a shame if that happens.She isn't interested in MRR, but knows I am and will spend time in a LHS with me, and sometimes even finds things that she thinks will interst me. She'll come out and look when I've finished something and even gives her opinions if asked.
We spent over 25 years working together,
we both need a break now and then. Separate hobbies are just the ticket. Don
I have to say I love my wife and son dearly but sometimes we just butt heads.I find my time at the trains to be my destressing and just plain unwinding.I own my own electrical business and constantly "have" to do what others want and at the time they need it. My trains go along at MY pace and don't make any demands. I've tried to include the Mrs. but that only turned into an argument so let that go.I started this hobby to find something my son and I could agree on but all he wanted to do was see how fast he could dump the trains of the layout,I have three engines with missing couplers and other various pieces to prove that.Now he's moved on to a radio controlled car.
The B&MC is made up of mine and my wife's initials. Car numbering is based on specific dates in our lives. Our children (6&2) know that the trainroom is open for the asking and that no locomotive (not even my prize shay and cab-forward) are off limits, within reasonable parameters. She has a Campbell kit that's her's to build and she's been faithfully at it---for 8 years now. As long as she knows there is room beside me at the layout for her and the kids, she's pleased enough. Sounds like you've got a prize to be cherished, when she finds her thing, you'll be there to encourage her.
My layout is located in part of our finished basement. I like it when my wife works on something she's interested in or watches TV nearby while I'm puttering. She only occasionally ventures into the railroad area but always has positive things to say when she sees what I've been working on. She's also bought me several pieces of rolling stock over the years and even arranged to have a friend scratchbuild a structure as a birthday surprise. I try to balance my hobby with the rest of my life and make sure that my wife and I do things together. We like to be outdoors which is a nice change from the basement and gives us lots of activity.
I have my priority in order. Wife first, hobby second. Sometimes I can spend a lot of time on my layout and she does not mind at all. I'm thankfull she does not mind and does not grippe or complain about it. She supports my hobby and she shows interest in it
At other times it's obvious that the layout will be in the background for a while. I don't mind. She's important to me and the layout is not going anywhere.
At other times it's obvious that the layout will be in the background for a while. I don't mind. She's important to me and the layout is not going anywhere.
My wife and I split the hobby room (11x13). She has her quilting side, and I have my train side. I don't quilt and she doesn't train, but we are involved with each other by offering opinions, advice and encouragment. I gave up a lot of room for the space she needed, but I got so much more in return.
While not married, I might as well be, Alicia and I have been together now for 5 years. While not much of a model railroader, she actually encourages me in it. Something about stress levels dropping and it making me easier to live with, I dunno.....
At any rate, she doesn't really have much in the way of physical hobbies, she just collects porcelain dolls from the victorian era, but she does occasionally offer to clean track, make trees and has bought Cheesy System stuff (and knows the difference between the "Good brands" and the "Trainset stuff", so she's pretty cool. Jeff, I feel for you dude, but Peggy is a lot better about modeling than my Ex. Colleen hated everything about railroading and model railroading, especially since I worked for the railroad at the time and was gone all of the time. Her opinion was that money was meant to go into the bank and stay there and I actually had to sneak around and hide my model railroading purchases from her. I had an extra locker at the yard full of kits I built, all packed in their boxes, specifically so she didn't know what all I had. Since I worked the midnight switcher for months at a time, I built kits during my downtime in the yard office. It SUCKED. I miss her loveley face, warm smile and great sense of humor, but I don't miss the fact that overall she was a controlling B****. Alicia on the other hand, can switch cars and make trees. Now if I could just talk her into going WP........
At any rate, she doesn't really have much in the way of physical hobbies, she just collects porcelain dolls from the victorian era, but she does occasionally offer to clean track, make trees and has bought Cheesy System stuff (and knows the difference between the "Good brands" and the "Trainset stuff", so she's pretty cool. Jeff, I feel for you dude, but Peggy is a lot better about modeling than my Ex. Colleen hated everything about railroading and model railroading, especially since I worked for the railroad at the time and was gone all of the time. Her opinion was that money was meant to go into the bank and stay there and I actually had to sneak around and hide my model railroading purchases from her. I had an extra locker at the yard full of kits I built, all packed in their boxes, specifically so she didn't know what all I had. Since I worked the midnight switcher for months at a time, I built kits during my downtime in the yard office. It SUCKED. I miss her loveley face, warm smile and great sense of humor, but I don't miss the fact that overall she was a controlling B****. Alicia on the other hand, can switch cars and make trees. Now if I could just talk her into going WP........
My ex used to come into the basement and watch my every move.(maybe thats why she's my ex). It used to get annoying."Are you sure you want to put that there?" When she said I didn't spend time with her, one night I put the railroad aside and stayed up stairs. After an hour with no talking and just staring at each other it was back into the basement.
Better half on the other hand, buys things for the railroad, helps make trees, designs buildings she wants(which I happily either scratch build or kitbash for her) then she paints them.(Val..You'll be happy to know that she's the one that picked out the building for your oil company.....Good Choice Honey!). She doesn't mind that I spend hours in the basement or the attic. She always tells freinds and family..."At least I know where he is."
Better half on the other hand, buys things for the railroad, helps make trees, designs buildings she wants(which I happily either scratch build or kitbash for her) then she paints them.(Val..You'll be happy to know that she's the one that picked out the building for your oil company.....Good Choice Honey!). She doesn't mind that I spend hours in the basement or the attic. She always tells freinds and family..."At least I know where he is."
My wife is the one that pushes me to get work done on the layout.
She says that she was attracted by the miniaturization when she first visited my apartment. She named the railroad.
She has also made some scenery, (trees in the early days) and made about 40' of back scenery last month. She also picks out buildings for me to make.
She also found time to work with the local Symphony Orchestra, is active in the Horticultural society, tries all sorts of decorative crafts, now concentrating on needlepoint, reads, and spends an hour or so per day with her mother in the nursing home.
The only real interference in the railroad is when she asks me "Is that new purchase going to fit in with the rest of your stuff?"
Oh, and when she wants me to make a continuous run so that she can hear the trains go!
She says that she was attracted by the miniaturization when she first visited my apartment. She named the railroad.
She has also made some scenery, (trees in the early days) and made about 40' of back scenery last month. She also picks out buildings for me to make.
She also found time to work with the local Symphony Orchestra, is active in the Horticultural society, tries all sorts of decorative crafts, now concentrating on needlepoint, reads, and spends an hour or so per day with her mother in the nursing home.
The only real interference in the railroad is when she asks me "Is that new purchase going to fit in with the rest of your stuff?"
Oh, and when she wants me to make a continuous run so that she can hear the trains go!
What about time for...
...honesty???
Here's a few lines I've used on girlfriends and you'll know why am a bachelor.
"Stay the *%@& out of the train room"!- works first time, everytime, adios love, hey you forgot your shoes~~~~
"Thank you for the sweet gift".- I always wanted one of these dopey things to beat against the wall until they're pulp again"!
"No, really honey, it's nice you painted the people, they look great with that tone of your SunBeam Nail Polish #9".- ~~CRUNCH~~ (Budweiser Hammer)
Mark
...honesty???
Here's a few lines I've used on girlfriends and you'll know why am a bachelor.
"Stay the *%@& out of the train room"!- works first time, everytime, adios love, hey you forgot your shoes~~~~
"Thank you for the sweet gift".- I always wanted one of these dopey things to beat against the wall until they're pulp again"!
"No, really honey, it's nice you painted the people, they look great with that tone of your SunBeam Nail Polish #9".- ~~CRUNCH~~ (Budweiser Hammer)
Mark
We each have our own hobbies, My wife is very much into cross stitching and knitting. I come up for air from the basement where my layout is every so often to see how she is doing. We do sit in the family room together when I scratchbuild on a TV table while watching TV. Sports mostly like baseball and football now that the CFL season has strarted. At least she never has to ask what I want for Christmas as she knows a box car or two makes me happy
I'm pretty lucky. My wife has her hobbies which she spends her time on while I'm in the basement. Occassionally, I'll ask her if she'd like to go to a movie and she almost always says no, would I mind if we just stay home and workon our hobbies. With children grown and out, we come home fron work on weekdays, spend an hour over a drink and dinner, then to our respective areas to play. I'll generally come upstairs around 10, we'll watch the news for awhile and go to bed together. I think going to bed at the same time is important. I think many a wife will deal with their husband spending lots of time on their hobby but will get pissed if they won't even come upstairs to go to bed with them. Now if I could just get her to paint my backdrops...shes a painter but so far hasn't made time for painting for me!