Tech support.. (how true..<G>)

Discussion in 'Zealot Archives' started by eatcrow2, Feb 6, 2007.

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  1. eatcrow2

    eatcrow2 Member

    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
    the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
    space and valuable resources.

    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
    monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3,
    Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Golfing 3.6.

    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my
    favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
    the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

    Troubled User.....

    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
    just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
    and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to
    delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to
    uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
    allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child
    Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
    situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to
    alleviate software augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because
    ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
    will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife
    1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook
    It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .

    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause
    the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only
    way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
    software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
    Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
    irreversible damage to the operating system!

    Best of luck,

    Tech Support
  2. paulhbell

    paulhbell Guest

    Someone at microsoft will think this is real and they will design a operating system to match this.
  3. dwgannon

    dwgannon Member

    I thought they did. It's called Windows. :)
  4. Bluenoser

    Bluenoser Member

    Messing with any of that software is likely to cause a hard drive crash. Then you get a new hard drive and start all over with the same programs. Its a vicious circle.
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