This was given me recently by an old railroader... The Railroad Chain of Command President: Leaps tall buildings in a single bound. Is more powerful than a locomotive. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Gives policy to God. Vice President: Leaps short buildings in a single bound. Is more powerful than a switch engine. I just as fast as a speeding bullet. Talks with Cod. General Superintendent: Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds. Is almost as powerful as switch engine. Is faster than a speeding BB. Walks on the water in an indoor swimming pool. Talks with God if special request is approved. Superintendent: Barely clears a Quonset hut. Loses tug of war with a locomotive. Can fire a speeding bullet. Swims well. Is occasionally addressed by God. Trainmaster: Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings. Is run over by a locomotive. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury. Talks to animals. Assistant Trainmaster: Runs into buildings. Recognizes locomotives two out of three times. Is not issued ammunition. Can stay afloat with a life jacket. Talks to walls. Yardmaster: Falls over doorsteps when. trying to enter buildings. Says, "Look at the choo-choo." Wets himself with a water pistol. Plays in mud puddles. Mumbles to himself. Conductor: Lifts buildings and walks under them. Kicks locomotives off the tracks. Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance-- HE IS GOD.