Railroad funnies

Discussion in 'Getting Started' started by zeeglen, Sep 5, 2003.

  1. zeeglen

    zeeglen Member

    Anyone know some good railroading jokes? Here's one to get the thread unravelling...

    A small RR that shall remain nameless was inherited by a less-than-brilliant playboy from his Daddy. While Dad had made a financial success of the line, Junior could not run the RR profitably. Pondering what to, he decided the reason for his failure was the RR image - too old fashioned and slow compared to modern air travel.

    Reading up on the latest aeronautical technology, he discovered that the windscreens of jet airliners were made of extremely tough plastic to withstand the impact force of a large bird at 600 mph. He realized the first thing to do to spruce up his diesel locomotive fleet was to install this high tech material in the locomotive windshields as a start to his plans for 'high speed rail'.

    When discussing windscreen purchase with the plastic sales rep, he asked how the airlines tested the material. The sales rep told him they fired chickens from the grocery store at 600 mph out of a 'chicken canon' designed especially for this sort of testing.

    Junior got the new hi tech windscreens installed in a diesel and rented a chicken canon for the big test. The chicken smashed through the windshield like it wasn't there, smashed through the engineer's seatback, smashed through the rear wall of the cab, and put a huge dent in the diesel motor itself.

    The enraged Junior immediately called the plastics rep and gave him a tongue lashing. The rep promised to send his own technical troubleshooters the next day to see what had gone wrong.

    Their report read in part: "We believe that if you repeat the test you will find it more successful. However, we strongly recommend that this time you do NOT use a frozen chicken."
  2. 60103

    60103 Pooh Bah

    On a slow train through Arkansaw

    There used to be a series of joke books by Thomas W Jackson (I think), the first was called "on a Slow Train through Arkansaw". (Published 1900 or earlier. I had a reprint in the 50s.)
    The Texan was bragging about the size of his state. "Why, it's so big that you can get on a train, ride for two days and anight and still be in Texas." "We used to have trains like that in Arkansas".
    A passenger asked the conductor why the train was stopped. "There are some cows on the tracks." The train started and stopped 10 minutes later. The conductor explained "We've caught up with those cows again."

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