"Once upon a Train"

[ezdays]

...to the back of the train... but wait!, they left the rest of the train sitting next to the station. Harnold just didn't do all he could do.

"Heyyyy, fear not, the Fonze is here", said Fonzie, "with this magic gumball we will get this show back on the road" as he stared at the reversing lever until it popped into place. He hit the console until there were enough gumballs for everyone.

"Chew, chew like the wind," said Ned Nedelander, one of the Three Amigos, who were fresh from a pretty nasty fight with the infamous El Guapo.

"Hey, werdigucomefrom?" Said Moe.

"Oh, I got here with the other two Amigos", Ned replied, "but that doesn't matter, all that matters is that we save the rest of the train from El Guapo, and so we all need to chew our gumballs and on the count of three, we all....

 

[Pitchwife]

...blow bubbles towards the front of the train. When all the bubbles burst at once it will blow us back to the rest of the train."
"That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard of." said Curly. "Why don't we just put the engine in reverse?"
Everyone just stood there with their jaws draging on the floor. After all, if one of the Stooges thought an idea was dumb, well..., it just must be. And he also came up with a practical solution! Moe grabbed him by the collar and yelled, "Awright, who are you and what have you done with the real Curly?" To which Curly answered, ".....

 

[N Gauger]

...heyyy what the heyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I'm THE Curly Q link"

Moe said " What's the "Q" stand for"?

Curly said "Quff" (Cuff)

Oh - so now youre' the missing link
Curly replied laughing.." No - I'm the found-Link " Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!!!!!

Moe dropped him & said to All who would listen "Do it! Back the train up - It's Curly"!

He must have a good idea in that head somewhere.....

The engine started backing up..................................

 

[ezdays]

...up, up, up. "No, no you dunderheads, back the train up, the empasis is on BACK, not UP. Do I gotta do everything myself?" Said Moe, and he looked down at the tracks. Seems as if Curly's idea wasn't as good as they thought. With all those bubbles, the train is now floating just about 50 feet off the tracks, with a good easterly wind.

"Alright, on the count of three, everybody inhale their bubbles and see if we can't get down to earth and back on track (hey, two [font=&quot]cliché[/font]s in one breath), A one, A two, A two and one half, A....

 

[Pitchwife]

...Bang! Half of the bubbles burst which caused the train to tip precariously. Everyone was panicing except for The Fonz, whose vocabulary didn't include the word "panic". Calmly he.....

 

[Papa Bear]

...pulled on the lever. "All right," said Fonzie, "No need to panic. I have just applied the air brakes so's we won't fall! Now, it seems to me like since we are up here, that we need to get down. And the best way I know of to get down is with some music. So...Hit It!" He tossed a coin in the jukebox and punched B17, which, of course, was...

 

[62cj5]

are song. We've been working on the railroad! Witch we have! Than the train started to ....

 

[Pitchwife]

...twitch a wheel here, a coupler there, and before anyone knew what was happening the whole train was boogieing to the beat. It wasn't just getting down, it was GETTING DOWN! Everyone was hanging on for dear life. "Fonzy, turn the music off!" they shouted. But instead the Fonz.....

 

[ezdays]

...calmly used the throttle to navigate the loco towards the passenger cars that were still sitting on the street next to the station. (We do need some continuity here) As the dancing loco swooshed by the first car, it hooked couplers and they all immediately began to dance as well. With all that energy, the now completed train was able to boogie on down and to the left as it made its way to the tracks.

"OK everyone," said the Fonze. "I didn't want to put you all through this, but my instincts told me that with the actuated wind volocity holding steady, so that added to the earth's rotation and gravitational pull at 15 feet above sea level, it was inherently obvious that..."

"Hey wait a stinkin' minute here," yelled the crowd. "This doesn't sound like the Fonze for even a microsecond, who is this guy anyway?"

"Alright, alright, you got me," he replied. "I was sent here to make sure this train was not delayed any longer and I was to use all my skills and training to make that happen."

"Well, who are you, were did you come from and who sent you?" Said Harold Hill. "I've riden the rails for a long time and never met the likes of you."

"All that in due time, but I've been instructed that my next move will be to...

 

[Papa Bear]

...do something "railroady." Now, how about a brake test before we depart?" Everybody just kind of stared at each other as if they had no idea what he was talking about. Fonzie said again, "You know, a brake test," but, indeed they did not know. So Fonzie (or at least the man we thought was Fonzie) reached into a large duffle bag and pulled out several copies of Railroadin' for Dummies and passed them out. "All right, folks, here's the deal. We've been getting lots of complaints that this train hasn't been running like a real railroad. So that's all gonna' change. Now let's turn to page 38 and find out how to do a brake test." Unfortunately, "Fonzie" did not realize that he had just passed out the updated edition of Railroadin' for Dummies and the brake test was no longer on page 38. Instead, page 38 now contained detailed instructions on how to...

 

[ezdays]

...light the stove in the dining car kitchen. Now the Three Stooges were attempting to help Emeril get the stove lit, and they looked in the handbook under page 56, which was suppose to be lighting the stove, but instead was...

 

[N Gauger]

.. Railroad signals made easy..
Moe said.. Ok - First you drop the ball - and slow down...

Larry said: Nooo it says here - to Give them the green & yellow

Curly" Who are yu callin "Yellow"??!!??

Moe said "Will you guys be serious for one second...

Meanwhile the stove was emitting gas as Emeril was attempting to light the match that would light the pilot, as he listened to all theis Green Yellow and Red, stuff.........

Emeril finally decided to turn the knob & light the pilot on his own..........

 

[ezdays]

...but The Stooges heard that and started dancing, "we're gunna light the pilot, we're gunna light the pilot".

Moe grabbed the match from Emeril and said, "gimmy that, I know what I'm doing, I know how to light a pilot".

As he was about to strike the match, Wrong-Way Corrigan stepped into the car, "Is this the way to San Jose? I'm a pilot and I'm kinda lost."

"A Pilot???, we're gunna light the pilot, we're gunna light the pilot"... as they...

 

[N Gauger]

...proceeded to try to light the match.... Wrong Way said, "let me try - I'm an experienced pilot".....

He grabbed the match, struck it on moe's cheek, the match lit....and Wrong Way approached the stove....

The Match went out......

Moe said, "see?? now what are going to do"?

Emeril said "Here's another"

Wrong way started again...........but this time....................

 

[ezdays]

...nothing...

"Hey Wrong-Way, you're holdin' the match the wrong way," says Emeril. "Don'cha know that if you hold it that way..." but before he had a chance to finish,
POOF-F-F!!!, SOOWOOSH!!!
The Stooges heard that and started dancing again, "hey, we lit the pilot, hey, we lit light the pilot"

Ahh, but WHICH pilot? Was it the pilot, or THE PILOT, that is now burning? Stay tuned as we find...

 

[N Gauger]

That the front of the train is on fire!!

Yes, they succeded in causing the cowcatcher to burst forth in glorious flame!!

Emiril did what any great chef would do - he started cooking the flambe'


When Martha saw this, she grabbed a HUGE pot of water and............................

 

[ezdays]

...started to make her infamous "cowcatcher soup." Wrong-way stared in disbelief, for he knew that was the wrong way to make that tasty dish. "I am indeed not only a pilot, but an accomplished chef, and watching you screw up a delicacy like that just burns me up," says Wrong-way.

Upon hearing that, the Stooges started dancing once again, "hey, we lit the pilot, hey, we lit the pilot", which was what they were suppose to do in the first place, just that they didn't know WHICH pilot to ligh.

"This train is going nowhere until we got a few things straight," said Engineer Bill. "The first order of business is to...

 

[N Gauger]

... Decide where we're going, once and for all!

The Stooges picked right up on this and - raising their arms in a salute said in unison:
"For DUTY & HUMANITY"!!!!!!

Enginneer Bil said.... disgustingly "No...no....no... That's not it - It's not for duty, it's always for the railroad!

The stooges looked dumbfounded (easy task for them) and turned to look behind them as they heard...........

 

[ezdays]

Woo-ooo, Woo-ooo and the dragging of chains. The boys huddled together and were quivering like a bowl of Jello. Then came the haunting melody "I just want to be a hound dog...",

"Elvis, is that you?" Said Emeril, who was alway into music.

A few more ghostly, chilling, WHAWOOOs, OOOOOOHHHHHS, and a few BOOOs, had everyone convinced that they had arrived in a different world. Then they heard it, "Trick or treat", yeah, today is Halloween and the train was stopped right next to a subdivison of middle-class, pink stuccoed houses with red tile roofs.

"Hey," said Moe, "We can't disappoint these little tykes, let's whip up a batch of chewy candy like we did in one of our pictures, ya know the one."

"Woopie," said Curley, "You bet," as the boys, Martha, Emeril and Wrong-way all got their heads together.

"Let's work as a team, we can do this in no time if we all work together." says Martha, "but of course, I'm in charge."

"Team, team, it's Halloween, Team, team, it's Halloween, Team, team, it's Halloween...." repeated the boys, as they danced in circles, but.... just then, the errie sound came out from nowhere, yes, it was....

 

[Pitchwife]

...the sound of metal grinding on metal. It seems that they had taken too long to get their candy made, and as a trick all of the neighborhood kids had taken every bolt out of the engine. Three days later, after they had finally finished reasembling the entire engine.....