"Once upon a Train"

[ezdays]

...employee's parking lot. The guide just gave up, "They don't pay me enough for this," was the statement he gave to the newspapers as the lead him off in handcuffs.

Still, the Stooges, Emeril, Martha, Hoppy and all the rest were having a great time riding the Matahorn and going through "It's a Small World", but the engineer had to stay behind and watch the train, and he was just a bit upset. He heard a whistle and looked up in time to see the Disneyland Express pulling into the station. Boy how he longed to get behind the throttle again. Then he had an idea, if he could only....

 

[62cj5]

think of a way to totally freak out the new engineer. After all, he was the best engineer in all of Disneyland. All of a sudden a plan formed in his head. All he had to do was

 

[Pitchwife]

...hyjack the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. He would really put it through it's paces and give the passengers a thrill they'd never forget. He managed to get aboard, got behind the controls and pushed the throttle wide open. "Yee Haw!" he yelled as the train left the station. As it started to pick up speed.....

 

[ezdays]

...he realized that he left his railroad watch in the cab of the other train which was still in the parking lot. How would he ever keep this railroad running on time without it? As the last car left the station, he saw it was time to stop at the next station, but he was going a good ten miles an hour, way too fast for the Disneyland express. Without his watch, he was nothing. The stations kept flying by and he saw that he was now approaching the main station. Hmm, seems as if he had gone full circle, or maybe around the world, he didn't know. He tried to caculate, at ten miles an hour, and he was at the throttle only... only how long? "My watch, I need my watch or we'll never get this railroad off the ground," he thought. "should I stop? can I find a siding? Where's the mainline interchange?" All of these thoughts ran through his head, then he saw it, right there in front of him was...

 

[Pitchwife]

...the six foot figure of Goofy who was standing by the tracks and wearing, of all things, a WATCH! In a feverish delerium he snagged Goofy by the collar as the train sped by. As they wrestled on the cab floor, the engineer for the watch and Goofy trying to fight off the crazed lunatic, someone hit the emergency brake and the train slammed to a dead stop and everyone was tossed into a giant heap. As soon as everybody got disentangled and order was resumed, the passengers and other Disneyland visitors looked on as the engineer was lead away in chains by the park security guards muttering "watch, watch, gotta have a watch, can't run a railroad without a watch."
"Now who's going to run the train?" wailed Emile. "I've got a cooking demonstration to do on how to make a chocolat soufle' and I can't be late or I'm finished!"
"We've got an idea!" said the Stooges.
"Oh no you don't!" shouted everyone else.
"I'll drive 'er for you." came a voice from the back of the crowd. Everyone turned around and there stood.....

 

[Papa Bear]

Kenneth Cooper (K.C.) Jones! Unlike his more famous relative from the Illinois Central, this K.C. Jones was an accomplished musician and the lead singer in a 70's retro band. However, instead of playing disco like a more famous 70's band with the letters "K.C.", K.C. Jones' band played nothing but...

 

[N Gauger]

Harmonica songs.. He took out his mouth harp and started a blistering rendition of Folsom Prison Blues"

Everyone started to sing: "I here the train a'coming" That's when a new engineer came on board, because you know he can't resist a good train song, it was none other than..........

 

[ezdays]

...Fonzie. Yep, he grew out of his DA haircut, leather jacket and uncertain actor lifestyle, and settled in for a steady, good-paying job as a railroad engineer. As he swaggered up to the train in the parking lot, he gave it a rap with the side of his hand with a, "heyyyy, I can move this piece of machinery. Noooo problemo". The Fonz yelled for everybody to get aboard, it was time to move on. One point with his finger, and the firebox took hold with a big SWOOSH. "Heyyyy, let's go", he said, but uncharacteristic of the Fonz, he overlooked one little detail...

 

[Pitchwife]

...He forgot to release the brakes. The engine sat there spinning it's wheels and throwing sparks. "Whoa, this ain't the 4th of July." said the Cool One. "Let's get this show on the road." And with a look from the Fonz the engine shuddered, released the train brakes and strained to make up for lost time. "Now that's the way you run a railroad." he said, polishing his nails on his leather overalls. (you didn't think that the Fonz would give up all of his leather did you?) As they picked up speed.....

 

[Papa Bear]

...the theme music cranked up. It was a soul-stirring rendition of "I've Been Workin' On the Railroad" sung by a chorus of Munchkins and various animated creatures. Fonzie said, "Hey, how 'bout some real tunes." You see Fonzie had installed satellite radio on the train and with a click of a button, the Munchkins were replaced by Tennessee Ernie Ford beltin' out "Sixteen Tons." Trains. Tennessee Ernie Ford. It just doesn't get any better than this. Unless...

 

[MilesWestern]

...there was apple pie ala mode....mmmm...ala mode.....

 

[ezdays]

..which of course was Matha's specialty. It's a pity that Martha wound up in the Disneyland jail for littering. Now says The Fonz, "I've got to find the nearest tracks, this parking lot is tough on the wheels. They look like they've been replace recently."

"Yeah," someone chimed in, "we had a problem a few pages back and had to put on new wheels. If you don't get us off this blacktop soon, we're gunna have to do it all over again."

"Heeyyy, not to worry, The Fonz has it under control", as he handed the ticket guy his parking stub so that he could get the train out onto Harbor Blvd. "Just another two miles and we can join the Union Pacific tracks," he thought, but just then he heard a police siren. "Hah, a police escort", he thought, but he was wrong...

 

[N Gauger]

The Police were ...were....were actually trying to pull a train over..

The first Police Car came along side the train and the guy behind the wheel yelled out:
"Ok Hot Shot - pull over"!!

The Fonze stuck his head out the window and said "Heyyyyyyyyy"

The Policeman said "Fonz"????

The Fonz Said "Woah"!!

The police said - "how in the heck did yo do this"?!?!?!?!

Fonzie simply said (Arnold) Ahim just helpink an old friend!

And The Governator stuck his head out & said "KaLL My Friend JeB - He will vouch forrrr uz!

The policeman did the only thing he could think of - staring into the Governator's face he slowed down and....................

 

[steamhead]

...pulled out his microphone to report to headquarters he'd just seen the Governator of "Kahleeforniyah" hanging out with the Fonz on a train going down Rodaiyo Blvd. and what he was supposed to do...???

 

[ezdays]

...well, he was suppose to give the Govonator an escort to the nearest tracks so this special entourage can continue on their journey, and so he did. The train's arrival at the Pasadena Station was announced on the loudspeaker. Everyone looked down the tracks in both directions but didn't see a thing, but they should have been looking down the street, because here comes the train, lead by a police escort, the USC marching band, a bunch of floats left over from the last Rose Bowl parade and Santa Claus, who was on loan from the Macy's parade.

"We're running behind schedule," says the Fonz. "Let's all get together and get this train back on the tracks so we can get on our way. After all, USC is playing Arizona State this Saturday and we have tickets to the game."

Hearing that was enough incentive to put the whole group to work. Santa positioned his sled in front of the train, as the Stooges tied the front coupler securely to it. The rest of the group got behind the train, and as Moe counted, one..... two....two and a half....

 

[Pitchwife]

...two and 3/4...two and 7/8...and santa took off, sans the train. Remember who tied them together?
"Vee haf lost our 8 reighndeer power booster." said the governator. "Now ve vell haf to do diss ze hard vey." And with that he singlhandedly picked up the engine and, giving it a flic, flipped the whole train onto the tracks. Everything was great except.....

 

[MilesWestern]

....the governator spilled his "big slurp" all over his lap! The began to convulse because he had spilled an extemely cold drink all over his pants, which at the time were .....

 

[N Gauger]

Fairly tight - due to the bulging leg muscles... due to the exersion from flicking the train, which incedently landed on the tracks right behind Harold Hill who was leading the marching bad (complete with 76 trombones)

The Governator turned to the Fonze and said

Okay mak - git uz ouuut of herrre!!!!!

The Fonz said " Woah" and punched the firebox door... the engine slowly moved forward - everyone cheered - someone was heard to say:

"Well, here we go...........

 

[ezdays]

...but what about the rest of the train?"

"O-O-O-P-P-P-S-Y Doodle" said the conductor.

"Heyyy!! not to worry, we have it under control," says the Fonze, "I just pull this lever, turn this knob and yank on this cord, and...." so rather than that, he just hit the control panel instead and out came a...

 

[N Gauger]

Gumball.... Ayyyyyyyy Said "The Fonz" - my fav-O-rite flavar... Yellow!!!!!

The Three stooges started hitting the control panel yelling "Peach, no Lemon - No Rasberry!!

Moe turned to Curly and said: "What!? You're giving him the rasberry???"

Curley retorted "No - The PeTunia!!"
Moe jerked back as the "T" sound caused Curly to spit on him..

Moe: " oHhhhhhh Starting it up again eh????

He grabbed curly around the neck and led him..........................