"Once upon a Train"

Papa Bear

Member
...noted psychic Miss Cleo, who told Martha, "There are many obstacles in your path, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel." In fact, there was a light, but it was the light from...
 

ezdays

Out AZ way
...our train, since if you remember, Martha was still on the handcar and the train was still going a bit faster than she was. Taking here cue from Miss Cleo, she opened the box that she had her cake stored in, and found two files which she promptly used...
 

Papa Bear

Member
...to implicate the Sheriff of Nottingham in a conspiracy to commit high crimes and misdemeanors. However, since she was on a handcar trying to outrun a speeding train, blackmail did not seem to be the most effective course of action. To make matters worse, one of the toons on the handcar turned out to be none other than Pepe Le Pew, who had suddenly taken a liking to Martha. "Mon cherie," said Pepe, "we will make beautiful music together," to which Martha replied...
 

ezdays

Out AZ way
..."I have a recipe for stewed skunk that I picked up in the slammer, so back off buster if you know what's good for you." Pepe, undaunted by this, continued to make advances towards Martha, who now was concentrating on working the hand lever with Wiley Coyote, who was the other toon on the hand car. Soon Martha saw beads of fluid coming from here brow and was confused, she never saw that before. Wiley tells her, "that's sweat." Martha screamed, "OH NO!!!! Not sweat, I never had to work that hard before, even in the slammer, I can't stand that." As she...
 

Pitchwife

Dreamer
...dug through the impressive contents of her huge purse and pulled out a spray bottle of anti-persperent and immediatly began spraying it over her entire body. "That's better." she said, although between the rummaging through her purse and total-body spraying and Pepe being love-struck and busy writing an ode to his latest love, only Wiley E. was left to pump the handles and the train had gained on them considerally. Being a true survivor of every Acme producct ever built Wiley E. quickly.....
 

Papa Bear

Member
...pulled out his handy Acme glue sprayer and sprayed glue on the tracks ahead of the oncoming train. The train hits the glue and...
 

ezdays

Out AZ way
...and slowly began to creep to a stop. But this being the famous Acme Standard Toon Glue, it stuck to the wheels and the track stretching out like rubber bands until the nose of the loco touched the handcar. As that happened, the train and the handcar that was now stuck to the front of the loco, sprang backwards with a big SPROINGGGG as it was pulled back by the stretched-out glue, then lurched forward again as the wheels took over. This continued for several minutes and it didn't seem like it would ever stop until the Stooges went into the kitchen and found some of Emeril's...
 

Pitchwife

Dreamer
...prize ingrediants, Ice cream and milk. Moe said, "As long as we're on this yoyo we might as well make milkshakes." They poured all the ingredients into a huge pot and.....
 

N Gauger

1:20.3 Train Addict
. handed it to Martha, whereby the stooges started tickling her to make her "shake".... After a bit, she finally stopped laughing, long enough for Larry to take the pot from her.... Looking in he said.... Hey!!!!!.............................................................
 

ezdays

Out AZ way
...This ain't chocolate, me favorite flavor, it's tutti-fruitti, just wot I'd expect from dem dummies." Just as he lifted to tub of ice cream to toss back to Curley,, the whole train did one more .SPROINGGGGand then a SPROINGGGG which brought them right back to where they started out and the bucket of ice cream went right on Carman Miranda's head and that how she got the idea of wearing a tutti-fruitti hat. Honest, that's the truth.... Well, Moe didn't like this at all and says, "hey dimmwitts, we gotta get moving here, you all know what to do," as the other Stooges nodded then proceeded to...
 

N Gauger

1:20.3 Train Addict
......... Form a conga line heading for the engine.... All their hands on the shoulders of the person just ahead of them


Got - to - get - us - Moo - Ving!!!! Got - to - get - us - Moo - Ving!!!! Got - to - get - us - Moo - Ving!!!!

They conga'd all the way back to the engine ---- only to find..............
 

Papa Bear

Member
...the engineer was none other than the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. Moe snapped, "C'mon, get this thing going!" The Swedish Chef replied, "The train is gone ke-floom de floom." The Chef continued to describe the problem in detail, unfortunately nobody could understand what he was saying. Finally, Curly picked up a hammer and said, "Hey, let's hit it with this." He swung the hammer over his shoulder...
 

ezdays

Out AZ way
...klunking Moe in the head. Moe responded with two fingers to the eye, but was thwarted by the old hand by the nose. But Curly did not see the bop-the-closed-fist thing and started running in circles and was yelling, "eweeee", over and over once he got boped. This did nothing to help the current situation, but did put a smile on a few of the folks, but...BUBUM, (organ chord for a tense moment about to occur), that wouldn't have been there under any circumstances had they realized, BUBMUMMM!!!(yet another chord to bring more drama to this scene), that....
 

Papa Bear

Member
...Martha had snuck back to the dining car and grabbed Emeril's cake decorating gun. She held it up to Carmen Miranda's head and shouted "Nobody move or the dancer gets it! I have a cake decorator and I know how to use it." The passengers slowly stepped back. Nobody said a word until...
 

ezdays

Out AZ way
...Martha's producer yelled, "CUT!! This isn't in the script."

"Yeah." Martha replied, "I learned a few tricks being in the slammer and I ain't going back, so everyone, clear out."

BUBMUMMM!!!(yet still another chord to bring more drama) Everyone turned white upon hearing this. "What do we do?" said one, "I'm frightened" said another. Just then Emeril wiped his face and yelled, "Hey, it's just flour, folks." Seems like the Stooges were at it again and got into a flour fight dousing everyone in the car. Angry at finding this out, but pleased to know they weren't really scared, the unruly crowd decided to take control and...
 

N Gauger

1:20.3 Train Addict
.that's when it happened....... it was fast..... so fast that Martha never saw it coming......

Sploooosh!!!

A Pie - in the face!!! - Martha dropped the cake decorator & released Carman since she now couldn't see anyway.......

And of course there was Moe - huge smile on his face..." See?? I told you to duck & there it went!!!"

Everyone laughed & applauded Moe's Pie Throwing Accuracy... until...............
 

Papa Bear

Member
...an infuriated Martha grabbed a bannana from Carmen Miranda's head and threw it boomerang style at Moe - or so she thought. The yellow boomerang was actually peeling straight toward Sheriff Omar, who had only recently taken a seminar about self-defense when being attacked with a bannana. Using his newly-acquired skills, Sheriff Omar instinctively...
 

ezdays

Out AZ way
...grabbed Curly and pushed him right in the path of the twirling projectile. Curly opened his mouth to complain, and we don't really have to describe what happened next now do we?? Martha made quick break for to door thinking that the bananna trick would be enough diversion, but she didn't count on having the Sheriff of Notingham standing guard. One look at him and she took off running in the other direction. The Sheriff calmly reached for his quiver and bow which was stored in the overhead compartments and...
 

Pitchwife

Dreamer
...pulled out a custard pie arrow and let it fly. Just as it was about to reach Martha he gave a loud whistle which caused everyone to turn to see what was going on; including Martha. SPLAT!!! went the pie, right in the kisser and she was down for the count. Seeing what had happened, the Stooges immediatly rushed over to the sheriff and asked.....
 
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