"Once upon a Train"
- Thread starter Virginian
- Start date
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Fred_M
fact that it was dragging the scooter behind it. But that was soon relieved as the noise dissappeared because....
the brake hose it was hung up on finally gave way, bringing the whole train to a screeching halt. Everyone stood around scratching their heads till someone finally.....
Realized that it was because of the scooter that the train had stopped. This of course took a good while to figure out - making everyone tired... They decidede to get the train going again & head for .......
Rail Town and from there, on to the narrow gauge spur line to the still on the Hill.
All the while watching to see that, the pinky's or mardi gras robbers, don't see what we're up to, Then we..........
All the while watching to see that, the pinky's or mardi gras robbers, don't see what we're up to, Then we..........
raided the still, and for a good while after that nobody was much concered which way the train was goin', or if it was even moving until.....
they heard the train begin slowly inching down the slight grade... Going forward ever so slowly.... There seemed to be movement in the cab. A Fireman???? An Engineer???? They took a quick "Head Count" and found............
that the only one missing was Dirty Dingus McGee, a hobo that road the rails as regularly as a commuter. Now since they knew that Dingus had no idea how to run a train they figgured that they had better check it out. The train was picking up speed and the effects of the night before not having wore off they wove and stumbled towards the engine where they found.....
Old Dingus Mcgee, tighter then a billy coat, in his drunkin state he had managed to empty the tender all but a couple of scopes,the fire box was blazing so high the temperature in the cab was.......
hotter than a juke joint on a saturday night, and rockin twice as much. Half of the group ran for their lives while the other half tried to get Dungus out of the way to let off some steam. Boiler plates were creakin' and rivets were squeekin' when.....
One of the pinkys..remember the pinkys????? 
Grabbed for the whistle cord! Well ya shoudda hear-ed how stinkin loud that there whistle commenced to a blowin!!! Steam was-a shooootin outta that huge brass horn faster than a possum runnin from a gun......
Mr. Pinkerton hung on to it a might too tight, because just when everyone in the cab thought they were outta trouble..........
Grabbed for the whistle cord! Well ya shoudda hear-ed how stinkin loud that there whistle commenced to a blowin!!! Steam was-a shooootin outta that huge brass horn faster than a possum runnin from a gun...... Mr. Pinkerton hung on to it a might too tight, because just when everyone in the cab thought they were outta trouble..........
When all of a sudden....they turned around and there was "Old Dingus" dancing on top of the Tender, bottle in one hand and playing the spoons in the other...Looking at each other with a smile as they came around the turn, and it was only then... when Mr.Pinkerton leaned out the cab and screamed.......
THERE'S A COW ON THE TRACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone stared in horor, even Old Dingus stopped a singin' and a spoonin' as every one stared from the speeding train heading for the helpless bovine.... all white with black & brown spots.... as the train neared the cow.. they swore they heard it say: "Eat More chicken!"
As the train closed in on the animal..........
Everyone stared in horor, even Old Dingus stopped a singin' and a spoonin' as every one stared from the speeding train heading for the helpless bovine.... all white with black & brown spots.... as the train neared the cow.. they swore they heard it say: "Eat More chicken!"
As the train closed in on the animal..........
Lend me ya mobile phone, i'll put in a quick call to McDonalds, Burger King, Hungry Jacks and the Steak House, lets see if we can get an Auction goin for whats left of the Cow.....
Low and behold, once the train had come to a full stop they all jumped out, here lying in the ditch to which they thought was a COW! was 2 Gaugers in a "Cow Suit" with a sign advertising "Farm Fresh Chickens For Sale" Old Dingus in his drunken state,leaned over and said "you idiot's" Ya! could have both been killed! The Gauger at the rear end of the Cow Suit looked up a Gingus and yelled back.........
"We would have if we'd have been in chicken suits ya drunkun idjot!" The rest of the crowd stood around dumfounded until someone finally shouted.....
Nothing to see here!! Move Along!! Move Along!!!!!
It was the Railroad's one & only Officer Barbrady! who seemed to appear out from......
It was the Railroad's one & only Officer Barbrady! who seemed to appear out from......
It was decided that if they hurried and got the train moving they could get back on schedule, give or take a few hours. Trouble was that everyone was still hungover from the night before so they decided to flip coins to see who would run the train. They lost 36 coins before Jake the brakeman was elected since he was the first one not to lose the coin he was flipping. As he climed aboard the engine he looked back over his shoulder and yelled.....