Once upon a Train 2,"the Slow Coach"

[Virginian]

OK story lovers, here we go again. This time, all passangers should be existing fictional characters, as outlandish as possible, preferably, not expected to be on a train, any time, any where, and some how fit the description "Slow"...let's be decent to handicapped persons, though, OK? so...crawling and creaking out of the station, here we go
"Once upon a train, upon a slowly moving, grandly ornate passenger coach sat a great blunderbus of a man named Paul Bunyon. He was on his way to see his Auntie in..."

 

[jimmybeersa]

......Wildest Africa ,his aunty was the Skipper of the a steamboat
named the " African Queen" , a very slow boat to China, also on board was a Cook named...... ...

 

[N Gauger]

... Cookie, who was at one time stuck on that "Tin Can" of a cargo ship with none other than Mister Roberts. But before we get any closer to China.....

 

[jimmybeersa]

Can't stand the food so
....Lets jump ship and....

 

[Virginian]

..."take th' train....it's jes' pullin' in on track 9. Then we c'n go t' Philly to see Uncle...."

 

[roryglasgow]

...Sam, who wants you. And while you're there, take the following items to him:

 

[Woodie]

Paul Bunyon?

For those of us in the far flung outposts of the British Empire......... Who is Paul Bunyon???

 

[justind]

paul bunyan

"As this was a grandly ornate car, the can (bathroom, WC, porcelean pony) had a nice mirror, and Paul Bunyan being somewhat of a vain man decided to launch into a long and colorful spill about himself. The important notes: He was/is a logger, He is very big (very, very, very big), has an affinity for a an overly large blue OX (ironically I seem to recall its name to be "babe"???), and has a beard. He drug his axe on the ground to create the grand canyon (he want's all of you non-America dwelling people to know that...) but only exists in folklore."

 

[roryglasgow]

Paul Bunyan info

Here is a little bit of info on Paul Bunyan, plus what I believe to be an actual photo of the man and his ox that was placed onto a postage stamp (ironic, isn't it?). I think he may have last been seen in the Far North chopping off icebergs from the ice sheets so he could make himself a glass of iced tea.

http://www.millville.org/Workshops_f/Dich_FOLKLORE/WACKED/stompfeature21.html

-Rory

 

[jimmybeersa]

....mean while back on the slow train ,Cookie was making a big pot of Blue Ox stew, to serve to the train crew., who were mainly Irish, what they thought of his efforts would have turned the air "BLUE" Mickey the Irish Brakeman said....

 

[jimmybeersa]

.......This sure is a slow train,its not moved very far this month
So up he got,gave Cookie a filthy look, jumped off the train (slow Moving) and proceeded up to the Loco to find the Engineer........

 

[roryglasgow]

...who had himself jumped off the train and was walking back to find the conductor to see if he knew why the train was running so slow. When he found him, the conductor said, "Where's the fireman?"

 

[Woodie]

"ah to be sure" said Paddy the Conductor. "prahbubly doin' waht arl goord Fireman do..... puttin' out the fire". At that minute, Mickey the Brakeman arrived. "waht ya been doin'?" said Paddy the Conductor. "Ah to be sure" said Mickey the Brakeman. "Ah been doin' waht arl good brakemen do.... puttin' on the brakes"

"what ya been doin'" said Mickey the Brakeman to Paddy the Conductor". "ah been doin' what arl good Conductors do..........."

 

[roryglasgow]

"Conductin' electricity!" And he stuck a lightbulb in his mouth and it lit up.

Realizing that both the train AND the board have been really slow lately, the engineer went back to the engine, got online, and posted an addition to the "Once upon a Train 2, 'the Slow Coach'" thread.

"There!" he said. "That's that! Now let's see what this baby can do!" He then pushed one of the levers forward, but instead of going faster, the train...

 

[N Gauger]

...Just let off a little Steam. (So did Paddy). Then, the boiler made such noise that even the people in the rear of the train had to cover their ears.
The steam shot out in a Hi pitched SCREAM!! It was the Banshee whistle, in full regalia, Howling it's song. Paddy looked quite befuddled, he hadn't been anywhere near the whistle chain. The lever he had pulled was supposed to.........

 

[jimmybeersa]

.....was the throttle,the means to get steam to the cylinders,which is what it did NOW this engine became " The ROCKET " and screamed down the track at an alarming rate. Cookie threw the Blue Stew out the window, the FBI and CIA wound up in a heap at the back of the train THe Pinkerton Detective grabed Jessie James in a bear hug, Santa Clause........

 

[N Gauger]

... Shot Out the rear of the train in a ScreeeeeeeeTch!!!! Yellin' and a Screamin' and callin' them by name: dasher dancer..... Come git me!!!!.. But the Reindeer were.....