My Father's Illness

Discussion in 'Getting Started' started by jon-monon, Dec 8, 2004.

  1. shaygetz

    shaygetz Active Member

    I lost my Father almost 2 years ago to colon cancer. Thankfully, he passed while taking a nap. Apparently his took over very quickly and little pain was involved.

    Our prayers for you and yours, especially as you go thru the Holidays.

    Blessings, grace and peace, BC
  2. Sir_Prize

    Sir_Prize Member

    Prayers of comfort and wishes of understanding.
    :( :(
  3. spitfire

    spitfire Active Member

    Jon, my heart goes out to you and your family at this very difficult time. I wish you all the strength to get through this. I hope you can spend as much time with your Dad as possible, and that he does not have to suffer. Take care my friend and know that you have a lot of thoughts and prayers heading your way.

  4. Bill Stone

    Bill Stone Member

    Really sorry to hear about your father. I have a small suggestion. After my father died I wished that I had talked with him more about his youth. What it was like, what he did, the things he experienced. As my mother was then still alive, I did do it with her, and in fact got her conversations recorded on audio tape. After she died, it all became so valuable, so interesting, and so heart warming, that I could kick myself around the block for not doing the same with my father.
    They lived in different times and experienced things we can hardly imagine. They had incredible, wonderful, fantastic stories to tell. And you become so much closer to them in the process, and wind up with more of them to hang onto after they leave us for that better place.
    Best wishes,
    Bill S
  5. Gary Pfeil

    Gary Pfeil Active Member

    Bill, you are so right about talking about their past. When my fatehr died in 1981, he was in a hospital in Florida and I lived in NJ. I flew down to see him in the hospital and he didn't recognize me at first, thought I was another intern and asked me , with much exasperation, "what do you want?" When he realized who I was, he said "I guess I don't have long" Not because I never went to see him, I went to see him once a year. But it wasn't time and he was right anyway. I tried to talk to him for hours, but all I got was one word answers. We sat in silence for quite awhile. He kept telling me I didn't have to stay there. I kept trying to get him to talk. I did leave and as I walked across the parking lot I was telling myself to go back, try again, you'll never see him again. I didn't, and I didn't. And it bothers me to this day. When my Mom passed on a few years ago, I had a much better closure, was able to be with her when she went. We talked of the war years, how she played roller derby and lots of other things I wouldn't have believed. Quite a contrast and it left me wishing all the more I had been able to get my father to talk of his youth, but he apparently just wanted to die. He had never been one to be close, but I had hoped that would change. Well, anyway, excellant advise Bill.
  6. jon-monon

    jon-monon Active Member

    Your kind words mean more than you can believe. Thank you and God bless you all.
  7. rsn48

    rsn48 Member

    Relationships with and between men, fathers and sons can be and often are more difficult when it comes to communications, the same with my father, and millions and zillions of fathers and sons out there. I don't know how we got into that predicament, but we did. My own father acknowledged the poor communications we had, but it wasn't any worse (or better) than most father/son relationships out there.

    You can't be responsible for your father's communications, but you can tell your dad how important he was to you. If it is hard for you to say it directly, say it indirectly. Talk about the past and how important it was for you.

    Remember and talk about some shared stories you've told a couple of times before, this will open the door to other stories and communications.

    Ask him about his family and when he was growing up, he'll understand what is going on, but I'm willing to bet he'll still talk about it.

    From a retired hospital chaplain,
  8. ausien

    ausien Active Member

    Jon, my thoughts are with you and you family at this time, I know what you are going through, as I am in almost in the same position, with my mother. she is not ill or anything, with her its just old age (94) her mind is a sharp as a tack, but the body is worn out.

    she is in hospital one week after a fall or something, then she is out, then something happens and its back in hospital, every time she goes in we all think this will be the last we will see her alive, although we have resinged our self of the inevetable we sure hope it will be a long time comming, and we hope it is the same with your dad( but we hope there wiil not be to much pain), my only perl of wisdom that I could give to you would be; enjoy the time you have left, and remember only the good times you both shared. Good luck and all our best wishes to you and yours.... have the best one you can have...steve...
  9. Ralph

    Ralph's for fun!

    Very sorry to hear this news. My sympathies and best wishes to you and your family Jon.
  10. Wyomingite

    Wyomingite Member


    So sorry to hear the sad news. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your dad and family.

  11. farmer ron

    farmer ron Member

    Jon, It saddens me to hear of this, I went through these tough times about five years ago and again just recently. You and your family are in out thoughts and prayers..Ron and family..
  12. MasonJar

    MasonJar It's not rocket surgery

    Hi Jon,

    I too am sorry to hear about your father's condition. Like so many others I too have a story (currently on-going - about my father-in-law), but all I will add for now is that I urge you to make the most of whatever family time remains to you. Take care, and God bless...

  13. brakie

    brakie Active Member

    Jon,Sorry to hear about your Dad..I shall remember you,your family and your Dad in my prayers..God bless.
  14. Topo

    Topo Member

    Jon, I'm very sorry to hear these news. You and your family are in my prayers, my friend.
  15. jon-monon

    jon-monon Active Member

    Hello my friends,

    Thank you all so much for you kind words of support, thoughts and prayors. They have and are helping me throug this ordeal.

    Last night my father passed away as I held him, my mother and wife on my side. My dear wife loved him as her father and he loved her as his own. I was so lucky to have time to tell him I love him and that I would care for my mother. He was a good man. God bless him.

  16. spitfire

    spitfire Active Member

    He must have been a good man to have a fine son like you, Jon. My sincerest sympathy to you and all your family at this sad time. May peace be with you.

  17. TrainClown

    TrainClown Member


    Our deepest sympathy.

    I'm here for you, if you need me.

  18. Ray Marinaccio

    Ray Marinaccio Active Member

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Jon.
    I have an idea what your going through.
    I know it doesn't seem possible but the pain will ease as time passes.
    You and your family are in our prayers.
  19. belg

    belg Member

    Jon very sorry to hear of your father's passing but be comforted by the fact that you were there at the end and able to say your goodbyes.Please talk to us if we can help.Pat :(
  20. TomPM

    TomPM Another Fried Egg Fan


    I am very sorry to hear about your father's passing.

    He is our prayers along with you and the rest of your family.

Share This Page