McDonnel Douglas Warranty Card

Discussion in 'Zealot Archives' started by MOS95B, Apr 5, 2007.

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  1. MOS95B

    MOS95B Member


    Important! Important!
    Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase

    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
    order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
    fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
    questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop
    new products that best meet your needs and desires.

    1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other

    First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________
    Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc.__________________

    2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
    _F-14 Tomcat _F-15 Eagle _F-16 Falcon _F-19A Stealth _Classified

    3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________

    4. Serial Number____________________

    5. Please check where this product was purchased:
    _Received as Gift/Aid Package
    _Catalog Showroom
    _Sleazy Arms Broker
    _Mail Order
    _Discount Store
    _Government Surplus

    6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you
    have just purchased:
    _Heard loud noise, looked up
    _Store Display
    _Recommended by friend/relative/ally
    _Political lobbying by Manufacturer
    _Was attacked by one

    7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your
    decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
    _Recommended by salesperson
    _McDonnell Douglas Reputation
    _Advanced Weapons Systems
    _Back-Room Politics
    _Negative experience opposing one in combat

    8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
    _North America
    _Central/South America
    _Aircraft Carrier
    _Middle East
    _Asia/Far East
    _Misc. Third-World Countries

    9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase
    in the near future:
    Product Own Intend to purchase
    Color TV
    Killer Satellite
    CD Player
    Air-to-Air Missiles
    Space Shuttle
    Home Computer
    Nuclear Weapon

    10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all
    that apply:
    _Crazed (Islamic)
    _Crazed (Other)
    _Corrupt (Latin American)
    _Corrupt (Other)

    11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
    _Suitcases of Cocaine
    _Oil Revenues
    _Deficit Spending
    _Personal Check
    _Credit Card
    _Ransom Money
    _Traveler's Check

    12. Occupation You Your Spouse
    Middle Management
    Eccentric Billionaire
    Defense Minister/General

    13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate
    the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
    participating on a regular basis:
    Activity/Interest You Your Spouse
    Default on Loans
    Black Market/Smuggling
    Watching Sports on TV
    Household Pets
    Crushing Rebellions
    Fashion Clothing
    Border Disputes
    Mutually Assured Destruction

    Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
    answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
    Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to
    receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments,
    extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

    Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
    Marketing Department
    Military Aerospace Division
    P.O. Box 800
    St. Louis, MO 55500
  2. yaniv

    yaniv Active Member

    what is that

    sorry but i not got the ida :(
  3. MOS95B

    MOS95B Member

    It's just a joke, but alledgedly it was actually posted on the McDonnel-Douglas site briefly. It's a parody of the warranty registration cards that come with almost everything you buy, at least here in The States
  4. yaniv

    yaniv Active Member

    sorry for destroy your jok
  5. MOS95B

    MOS95B Member

    No sweat, yaniv. Humor doesn't always translate (even within the same language)
  6. milenio3

    milenio3 Active Member

    I forgot to fill this survey, and now I don't have my warranty for my F-15 Eagle!! Arghh!

    Anybody wants a junked F-15? Just 2.5 million dls. Cheap!!
  7. SAustin16

    SAustin16 Member


    Yes, that one was going around McDonnell Douglas about 15 years ago, when I was working on the C-17. It's one of the best jokes that ever made the rounds at DAC (Douglas Aircraft Company)...I don't know who came up with it, but it was really great. Somebody had a great sense of humor...probably got fired for it, but we take our chances...Thanks for sharing. Brings back great memories.
  8. CardStalker

    CardStalker Member

    Going to copy and forward to my friends at Boeing, in Seattle, they now own St. Louis and they would get a kick out of this.
  9. Ashrunner

    Ashrunner Member

    Didn't Boeing move to Chicago?

    Anyway, who needs a warranty on an F-15? F-14, F-18...most likely, but F-15? No WAY!

  10. Bengt F

    Bengt F Active Member

    McDonnel-Douglas Warranty Card Customer Questionaire

    Spot on, MOS95B!

    That is one of the funniest of this kind of 'serious-looking' questionaires I´ve seen! It really makes you reflect about the really sinister and shady sides of the arms trade in the World today, too.

    Hilarious and thought-inspiring at the same time - brilliant!
    Humour is often the best of weapons - "The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword"

    Bengt :D
  11. cbg

    cbg Member

    very funny!

    I enjoyed this parody, especially since I grew up in St. Louis and recall seeing and hearing (at that time) flight after flight of F-4s overhead at all hours.

    I can still smell the kerosene. . .

  12. MOS95B

    MOS95B Member

    I never even considered that aspect, but you are right.

    Almost takes the fun out of it, now that you made it seem semi-educational...

    :-D :grin:
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