I know my math...

Discussion in 'Zealot Archives' started by thewoodengraver, Jan 26, 2007.

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  1. thewoodengraver

    thewoodengraver Active Member

    I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut
    right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the
    shoulder to avoid hitting her.
    This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out is window
    and gave the woman the finger.
    "Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and
    wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic,
    and here's why:
    I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
    That's 96 miles each day.
    Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
    Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
    There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
    That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
    Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
    pass at least another 4000 cars.
    That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
    Statistically, females drive half of these.
    That's 18,000 women drivers!
    In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
    That's 642.
    According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or
    That's 449.
    According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have
    seriously considered suicide or homicide.
    That's 98.
    And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
    That's 33.
    According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry
    weapons and this number is increasing.
    That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has
    a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
    considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
    Give her the finger? I don't think so
  2. murphyaa

    murphyaa Designer

    Had to pick myself up off of the floor after that one.
  3. nebeltex

    nebeltex Member

    lol....ood one. reminds me of the kid who recently won the "liars contest" by stating, "there are three kinds of people in the world. those who are good at math, and those who aren't".
  4. Bluenoser

    Bluenoser Member

  5. hpept

    hpept Member

    Well, this "inductive" demonstration should concur for the Nobel Prize in Math and Statistics :grin::grin::grin:
  6. logicman

    logicman Greybeard

    Apologies for the 'bump', but after I finished laughing, I just had to say 'thanks' for the big cheer-up!

    "Statistics are no substitute for mathematical formulations of
    research result ratios." - logicman
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