How To Argue Effectively

Discussion in 'Zealot Archives' started by MOS95B, Mar 6, 2007.

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  1. MOS95B

    MOS95B Member

    With the differences between preferred subjects, building styles, designing styles, etc. there are going to be differences between modelers. Not all of those differences, unfortunately, will be settled amiably.

    I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules:

    [FONT=arial,helvetica]DRINK LIQUOR
    Suppose you are at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large martinis, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture.

    People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.
    [FONT=arial,helvetica]MAKE THINGS UP

    Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove that Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid, and you'll be damned if you're going to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON'T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say instead:
    • "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 before the mean gross poverty level."
    NOTE: Always make up exact figures.

    If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up too. Say:
    • "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission published on May 9, 1982. Didn't you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say, "You left your soiled underwear in my bathroom."
    Memorize this list:
    • Let me put it this way
      In terms of
      Per se
      As it were
      So to speak
    You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as "Q.E.D.", "e.g.", and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you don't."

    Here's how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say,"Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money."
    You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say:
    • "Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-à-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D." Only a fool would challenge that statement.

    You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevant phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:
    • You're begging the question.
      You're being defensive.
      Don't compare apples to oranges.
      What are your parameters?
    This last one is especially valuable. Nobody (other than engineers and policy wonks) has the vaguest idea what "parameters" means.
    Don't forget the classic: YOU'RE SO LINEAR.
    Here's how to use your comebacks:
    • You say: As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873...
      Your opponent says: Lincoln died in 1865.
      You say: You're begging the question.

    • You say: Liberians, like most Asians...
      Your opponent says: Liberia is in Africa.
      You say: You're being defensive.

    So that's it. You now know how to out-argue anybody. Do not try to pull any of this on people who generally carry weapons
  2. Lex

    Lex Dollmaker

    I bet I must memorize that!!!
  3. cmdrted

    cmdrted Active Member

    The Duce you say!
  4. Zathros

    Zathros Guest

    I always use "reductio ad absurdum". People then say "What?", and I say, "It means you said it so it must be wrong." After all, I am Latino-American so I must speak Latin.:-D
  5. milenio3

    milenio3 Active Member

    And as a last defense we can add "a la Potter""... "Espectro Patronum", when somebody tries to argue us back!

  6. Elliott

    Elliott Senior Member

    You guys are being defensive.

    Hey! Look at that. It works! There's no one in the room now! Whaddya know about that.

    I took two years of Latin in H.S. and don't remember any of it.

  7. cmdrted

    cmdrted Active Member

    I used to greet my med school lab partners in Latin, "Gluteus Maximus my peers!"
  8. Rick Thomson

    Rick Thomson Member

    A cultivated bit of French is also impressive...something along the lines of "Je nay, give a Phouck pas moi..."

    Spelling definitely in question... ;-)
  9. drwrist

    drwrist New Member

    Hi, Mr. Thomson;

    A little closer would be "je ne give a phouck pas". "Give" is not a reflexive verb, so "moi" is not needed. I have been taking French for my trip to Paris next month. And for the record, I will do some shopping for les maquettes cartons.


    Le docteur
  10. cgutzmer

    cgutzmer Guest

    Where did you pick up my reference library for this particular topic? :D
  11. Rick Thomson

    Rick Thomson Member

    Hi Doctor Wrist,

    I was using a fairly mangled bit of Quebecois French that was in common useage during my time in the Canadian Airforce in the 70's and early 80's.

    Actually I should have tacked "Tabernac!" on to the end of the sentence, as it seemed to be the standard ending of most Quebecois phrases... ;-)
  12. drwrist

    drwrist New Member

    Hi, again, Mr. Thomson;

    I hung around a Canuck for a week two or three years ago. He was not from Quebec, but somewhere nearby. He did not speak French, but had the Quebecois French accent nonetheless.

    He punctuated the end of all his sentences with a word other than "tabernac". I can not tell you what it was in this forum. But it was a common English word beginning with "f" ending with "uck" and is not "firetruck"


    The Dr.
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