Discussion in 'Off Topic Lounge' started by bulldogowner, Apr 14, 2011.

  1. bulldogowner

    bulldogowner Destroyer of Spam Moderator

    Blondes Are The Best!!! :thumb:

    A blonde & her husband are lying in bed
    Listening to the next door neighbor's dog.
    It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours.
    The blonde jumps up out of bed and says,
    "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs.
    The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says,
    "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"
    The blonde says,
    "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!


    Two Blondes With Hammers

    Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work
    on a Habitat for Humanity House.
    as Lynn was nailing down house siding, she would reach into her nail Pouch,
    pull out a nail & either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
    Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked,
    'Why are you Throwing those nails away?'
    Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch,
    about half of Them have the head on the wrong end
    so I throw them away.'
    Judy got completely upset & yelled,
    'You moron! Those nails aren't Defective!
    They're for the other side of the house!'


    Did you hear about the two blondes
    who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
    They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'


    You might have to think twice about this one.

    A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
    of her index finger shot off.
    'How did this happen?' the Emergency Room doctor asked her.
    'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.
    'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'
    'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, but then I thought,
    'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
    'So then?' asked the doctor.
    'Then I put the gun in my mouth, but I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth
    straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'
    'So then?'
    'Then I put the gun to my ear, but I thought: 'This is going to make a
    loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger'.


    A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad
    hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
    to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
    decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the
    tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.
    So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started
    blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little
    harder, & still nothing happened.
    Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first
    blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
    tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
    The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello!
    You need to roll up the windows first.'


    A blonde was shopping at Target &
    came across a shiny silver Thermos.
    She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took
    it to the clerk to ask what it was.
    The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.
    It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.'
    'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!'
    So she Bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.
    Her boss saw it on her desk.
    'What's that,' he asked?
    'Why, that's a thermos. It keeps hot things hot & cold things cold,' she replied.
    Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
    The blond replied.
    'Two popsicles & some coffee.'


    A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
    Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
    The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
    my mother had passed away.'
    The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the
    day? Take the day off to relax & rest.'
    'Thanks, the blonde replied, 'But I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and
    I have the best chance of doing that here.'
    The boss agrees & allows the blonde to work as usual.
    A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on the blonde.
    He looks out from his office & sees the blonde crying hysterically.
    'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.
    'No!' exclaims the blonde.
    'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'
  2. randy13

    randy13 New Member

  3. hellside

    hellside New Member

    why was blonde thought to be stupid, I don't get it
  4. surfspc

    surfspc New Member

    lol good one! Gna use this one at the parents dinners lol
  5. Azurial

    Azurial New Member

    heres one for ya:

    How many Blonde Jokes are there? Just one, the rest are true.
  6. Selber

    Selber New Member

    good one azurial :D
  7. mailamaynard

    mailamaynard New Member

    its mean to read at but its really funny. haha
  8. harry1

    harry1 Guest

    how stupid it is
  9. Iron Duck

    Iron Duck Member

    Those were actually some pretty funny blonde jokes...;)

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