Bird Flu - important update!

[Zman]

Contact a doctor immediately if you exhibit any of the following symptoms:

1. Nausea

2. Headache

3. Dizzyness

4. Fever

5. Sore joints

6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield.

 

[RailRon]

And most important:

7. On the way to your doctor catch a bird and bite him!

Only so it is guaranteed that the bird flu is propagated further. Otherwise the media guys would run out of news to drive all of us crazy!

Ron

 

[scoobyloven]

don't forget to tell the dr.

8. you woke up in bed to find it full of feathers and all the eggs where gone out of you fridge and you where trying to hatch them.

doc help i don't know what it worng with me "cluck" please doc help "Cluck'

9. you go out for lunch and see some one with a turkey sandwitch and you go nuts. yelling you are eating my brother

 

[ezdays]

10. You call the Dr. and ask if he makes nest calls...

11. Dr. tells you to go home and get some nest rest...

 

[shortliner]

humble apologies for the lack of taste but it made me laugh and so as to be educational here are hints how to avoid catching Bird Flu

1) Before eating chicken, soak it in Lemsip.
2) Keep wild birds away from you by constantly meowing.
3) Fill your birdfeeders with paracetamol.
4) Before roasting a chicken check for signs of swelling in the McNuggets.
5) Don't, under any circumstances lick strange pigeons.
Stay safe....
Shortliner(Jack)away up here in the Highlands

 

[sumpter250]

I just happened to think of an old friend from back east, Enza Scorzinni, he became a hitman for one of the families.
Somebody ticked off one of the "Capos", and was found dead a couple of days later. at the funeral, the Capo walked up to the coffin, and stood there looking at the offender's face, as he turned to leave, he said " Just the other day he was the picture of health, then...in flew Enza. ops:

 

[Oroka]

12. If there is noodles and chunks of chicken in your urine

13. If you now cluck instead of snoring at night

14. A irresistable urge to head south for the winter

15. Rage at the sight of a shotgun loaded with a bb shot, or a bird dog.

 

[eightyeightfan1]

Eat the bird seed meant for the bird feeder.
Urge to sit in trees and on power lines.
Run headlong into picture windows.
Ask a wooden duck decoy"What are you doing Friday night?"