Battlestar Galactica Land Probe aka Turbocycle

Discussion in 'Science Fiction & Fantasy' started by Revell-Fan, Mar 25, 2012.

  1. Revell-Fan

    Revell-Fan Co-Administrator Administrator

    Disclaimer (and warning):

    The following text has absolutely no sense and should therefore not be read by anyone. If you do read it (and I know you will!)... well, you are on your own..! :twisted:
  2. Revell-Fan

    Revell-Fan Co-Administrator Administrator

    The TRUE story of GALACTICA 1980!

    Once upon a time one of the most successful creators of television shows sat down and wrote a treatment on a bunch of space cowboys chasing across the galaxy, pursued by some funky hot-shot alien hooligans who resembled Mr T before he met Rocky, searching for a new home since their old cribs were pulled down because they had no planning and building permissions in the Cyranus galaxy. Now then, aforementioned creator (whose true name won't be stated here because that would cause the entire galaxy to collapse) wrote AND produced


    GALACTICA 1980!

    This show was made at a time when science fiction on television was innocent and pure, with cute children disguised as daggits and chimpanzees disguised as actors, a well-thought premise which made Isaac Asimov wonder why the heck he didn't invent this piece of shi...ning entertainment, and which made people laugh and laugh and learn important things of our culture long lost and forgotten (and laugh).

    However, they made a mistake. A grave mistake that doomed the whole project. The opening sequence was composed of bits and pieces of another show that aired one and a half year earlier, a mediocre Star Wars rip-off which nowadays is seen as a major failure which destroyed not only the reputation of aforementioned writer and creator, but the minds of thousands of followers all over the world. It drove people completey mad, seduced them to skip the Emmy's, caused major law-suit trouble spanning TWO entire galaxies and therefore got banned from television for more than thirty yahrens.

    Well then. That opening sequence. That damned opening sequence.

    Today many people asked themselves, how could they do that? Why in the name of the Lords did they take bits and pieces of a television show which had absolutely no connection to this new piece of shi...ning entertainment. Well, they did it. And maybe they did it for good.

    This infantile sci-fi inferno was called "Battlestar Galactica". And as its name indicated, its only purpose was to glorify WAR. Right at the beginning of the series the body count was higher than in all Schwarzenegger, Willis and Stallone films together and should be surpassed only by "The A-Team" later-on (there they were so smart not to use the actors as cannon fodder but the poor stunt guys). 12 entire planets were devastated and one completely destroyed, two civilizations annihilated (one being super-intelligent insects which made a living out of cattle breeding, one being a bunch of not so super-intelligent human space invaders ruled by stupid politicians). And then we learned that these "humans" were even worse than their so-called "enemies": Prisoners were used as living shields, people zapped everyone and everything with their laser pistols, they even killed themselves when they lost a ball game. They were living in Space, in compact starships, with the bridge being a constant red-light district (many of the supporting actors are still half blind because of those bad lights), there were no toilets, everything smelled like in a submarine. There was absolutely no privacy, everyone was hanging around gambling, smoking or having a party or doing all of it together. In addition, the crew spent so much money on special effects that Lorne Greene's farm had to be sold. They even were forced to eat his horse to survive (and thus taking every chance from him to escape).

    Well then. That opening sequence. That damned opening sequence.

    It was certain that the new series would require a new title every year. In its first year it would be "1980", in its second "1981", in the third "1982" and so on. So it was imperative that the bits and pieces of the opening sequence were to be exchanged by new bits and pieces from the predecessing show. And then the writer and producer was struck: After some 400 years they would have re-used the footage of the whole predecessing show, leaving no material to make any new opening sequences! That would have meant to go back in time and shoot more of the previous unsuccessful show, which at that time seemed impossible (he couldn't know that Doc Brown would build a time machine in a DeLorean only 4 years later). So it was decided to let the show die, on its hiatus, in the year... 1981 (wiping a tear off the cheek). The maker hid the secret of its success by keeping the show away from any TV station ever since so that it could not be seen again and analysed.

    Thank the Lords some cunning Gollums managed to get it released on DVD some time ago. I tried to ask them how they were able to do that, but they have never been seen again after this major coup. However, time and Zeitgeist change. Today it is not very likely that the show would be continued. What a pity, because its premise was so unique and so compelling that it had the potential to run FOREVER....

    And if you believed all that.... :p:p:p
  3. Revell-Fan

    Revell-Fan Co-Administrator Administrator

    Joking apart


    By this time you might have already noticed that the text above is a satirical review and should in no way affront anyone involved in the making of the mentioned shows. Now then - let's get back to business!

    It is well-known that a second season of the classic BSG was planned. Scripts were written, new writers engaged (Isaac Asimov) and props designed. When it was clear that there would not be a second season, many ideas were dropped. Many - but not all. Some of them were featured in Buck Rogers and Galactica 1980. The turbocycles are part of them. According to "Sheba's Galaxy" some fleet renegades use land probes to discover a Pompeii-like town in an unfilmed script entitled "Showdown". These probes were actually built and used as flying motorcycles in Galactica 1980. It is also said that several Hartland members were asked to think about how such a probe would look like at the end of the first season. The project was abandoned but revived later-on when Galactica 1980 was filmed. Under these conditions you may say that the turbocycles are one of the three elements of Galactica 1980 that in fact are part of the canon Galactica universe (the others being the Cylon Heavy Fighter aka A/B ship and Cy, the friendly Cylon).

    I personally like these machines. Like all the other Hartland designs they have their own character. They look excellent, they are futuristic and yet "Earthly" enough to convince the viewer even three decades later. A classic and timeless design, immediately recognizable. They are so well conceived like K.I.T.T. and the Airwolf. And they fit in the classic Galactica universe. So I decided to turn them into paper.

    The attached picture shows the first draft of the vehicle. The overall proportions have to be adapted, mainly the extrusions along the z-axis and the curves. I hope you like it! :wave:

    Attached Files:

    • tc1.jpg
      File size:
      33.6 KB
  4. Zathros

    Zathros Guest

    I think it is kind of amazing how similar these bikes resemble the Suzuki XN 85! Take the wind screen off of the Suzuki, Voila! I think those bikes did have some influence. My Suzuki almost flies, and on certain roads, I can get a couple of feet into the air!

    This should be interesting. :)


  5. clif52

    clif52 Banned

    COOOOL! I always loved the Turbo bikes.

  6. ASC Mclaren

    ASC Mclaren Member

    "a mediocre Star Wars rip-off which nowadays is seen as a major failure" - Those are fighting words! :) The only thing the two had in common was space. Anyway, keep up the great work! I thought that the cycles were the best part of that show.
  7. Zathros

    Zathros Guest

    It's amazing that Star Trek did not regularly use vehicles in their show. They would always Transport down, then schlepp for way too long, and of course, get in trouble on the way.
  8. Rhaven Blaack

    Rhaven Blaack ADMINISTRATOR Administrator

    I like the idea of the Turbo Bikes. I think that they would make a GREAT addition to the whole BSG collection. It would also make a great addition to a BSG diorama as well.

    What you have so far, looks good.

    Can I have one in 1:32 scale PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE???
  9. ASC Mclaren

    ASC Mclaren Member

    1:32?? 1:18!! :)
  10. Rhaven Blaack

    Rhaven Blaack ADMINISTRATOR Administrator

    OK fine, 1:18 for you and 1:32 for me.:thumb:
  11. clif52

    clif52 Banned

    I may have to scale this up and buy those 12" tall OS Galactica figures I was looking at the Greensboro North Carolina toy show. Apollo, Starbuck, and Adama standing beside of a set of Turbo bikes. I know they didn't ride them, but it would look COOOOL! Now I need Galactica diorama files for the launch bay.

  12. ASC Mclaren

    ASC Mclaren Member

    Everybody wins!
  13. Revell-Fan

    Revell-Fan Co-Administrator Administrator

    Hmm... I thought about 1:6.... :twisted:
  14. Revell-Fan

    Revell-Fan Co-Administrator Administrator

    :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen: Hey, I was just KIDDING!!!! :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
  15. Revell-Fan

    Revell-Fan Co-Administrator Administrator

    And a little update. CU! :wave:

    Attached Files:

    • tc2.jpg
      File size:
      20.6 KB
    • tc3.jpg
      File size:
      22.5 KB
  16. Zathros

    Zathros Guest

    It's coming along really nice! Every time I see that I remember hanging out with my brother-in-law, with my 2 nieces, them playing and us lamenting how cool the bikes were but how bad the show had become. :)
  17. Revell-Fan

    Revell-Fan Co-Administrator Administrator

    That's true, Zathros. I hope you know that the introduction to this thread is IN NO WAY SERIOUS. Because of the fact that Galactica 1980 is undeniably one of the worst shows in television history (if not THE worst) I took the chance and switched sides, just for fun, and wrote a review from the perspective of a die-hard Galactica 1980 fan. Naturally, if such fan liked that show, he / she surely wouldn't like the other one (BSG) :mrgreen: . It's a satire. Like the spoofs from the MAD magazine. Nothing more. (And I still hope it produces some good laughs because it is totally ridiculous :twisted: !)

    The truth is, I fell in love with BSG the first time I saw it at the age of six. I adore the show, the stars and the people behind the camera. And Galactica 1980 was not totally bad..! :thumb:

    Now then, back to the Land Probes. Thank you all for your comments. I'm trying to make the fork rotatable so that you can turn the front wheel around. The wings and wheels will definitely become movable. Right now I'm figuring out the best way to achieve the recess where the grips come out. That part is very tricky and slows work down a bit. I'm still surprised at how fast I was able to get the general shape. I surely haven't been working on the model for more than two hours to get that far.

    Concerning the size: The original bikes reach to the actor's hips, so I suggest that the probes are approx. 1 m high and 2.1 m long. That would make 17 cm x 35 cm at 1:6, 5.7 cm x 11.7 cm at 1:18 and 3.1 cm x 6.6 cm at 1:32. The 1:6 version could be buildable at 1:18. Assembly at 1:32 surely will be very difficult when it comes to the greeblies. So I think that a 1:32 version must be extremely simplified; maybe it becomes a kit of its own. CU! :wave:
  18. Zathros

    Zathros Guest

    At one time, I knew what dirt bike was underneath it, but there's no way I can remember that now. :)
  19. Vortex_4200

    Vortex_4200 Member

    Do I hear a 1:1?
    1:1 anybody??
    going once
    going twice...
  20. Patron_zero

    Patron_zero Member

    Perhaps just a post-college brain-cell massacre fading memory but I recall seeing a children's bicycle based on that design, wasn't a custom but believe it was a retail store item.

Share This Page